The Real Things Haven't Changed...

Or How Social Media Is Ruining Our Lives (Rated PG-13)

This quote by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which I found because of a social media post continues thusly: It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and to have courage when things go wrong.

Since I started down this path of pursuing my dreams of becoming a published author, I have been forced to wrestle with the beast that has now become of social media. Way back in 2017 when I went to a writer's convention and was regaled by all the uses of social media to promote myself as an author, I had already lived through the shitstorm that would become of the 2016 social media landscape. I saw how Facebook had become a hate-filled black hole of misinformation and that Facebook, (now Meta- like that changed anything!) wasn't doing anything about it. And I sat there listening to all the virtues of social media, knowing its prodigious vices and asked myself, "How? How can this model possibly be sustainable?"

So now it's 2023 and much has changed and much has not in the world of social media. Twitter is dead, replaced with an X...are they over the Twitter Bird's eyes like the dead emoji? Who can say- but I no longer care. Yet the narrative is still being pushed about the veritable gold mine that can be had with social media. I acknowledge that some influencers have made quite a chunk of change mining that particular gold. And lots of authors remain "connected" to their readers via various social media platforms. But at what cost?

To answer that question, it must be understood that I am still a 6-12 math teacher because I have bills to pay and I stand on my own two feet (with 4 hooves and paws around me) in this world, which is a very nuanced tale for another day. But on nearly a daily basis I see the emotional toll social media is having on my students in particular and youth, in general. The mental health crisis among our nation's youth is no secret and neither is its link with social media engagements- Meta is now facing a class action lawsuit from no less than 42 attorneys general in furtherance of my point.

I worry about this generation as they have to navigate something I never had to: human authenticity. What will become of an entire generation that has to figure out if the person they're engaging with on Insta or TikTok or the Next-App-du-jour is actually a human being and, which is something authorities contend with every day- if they are human, are they safe from the harm that comes from anonymous online activity? Reader please know, this is not a GenX "get off my lawn" moment. Nor am I a modern-day Luddite, far from it. But I cannot tell you how many fist fights on campus got started from escalating tensions online. I've personally counseled students who have reported to me that Instagram makes them depressed. I wish I was gilding the storyteller's lily, but if I told you the exact details it would invade children's already tenuous privacy. Rest assured I referred them to more qualified staff, but I've been doing this teaching gig in one form or another since 1999 and I've never been more concerned for future generations.

Which brings me back to my original proposition- what is the cost of doing business online in 2023? As an author, am I willing to participate in the clusterfuck of humanity that is the online world? By the use of colorful words like clusterfuck, I hope you see the obvious answer. But even before the advent of social media, when I myself was a teenager and I realized that being a rich and famous author was what I wanted to be when I grew up I also knew what kind of an introvert I was. I knew that I'd always be uncomfortable with "putting myself out there" as it were. But this?! Perhaps it's why when I tried and failed to build a social media profile after I published Covenant I felt no need to get back on that particular horse.

Which brings me to my third point: horses. If nothing else has been brought home to me in terms of life lessons once I got back into the horse world, is that working with, owning, riding, caring for, cleaning up after and everything else that comes along with having horses, is the value of real things. The real smell of a horse's breath on my skin, the real fatigue after having spent all night and day with a dying old racehorse, and most of all the real lessons my horses have taught me about how to be a better human being. My horses don't take kindly when I walk up to them with the bullshit of my day swirling around in my head- mindfulness I have found, is the key to success in any endeavor with them. And now it would seem, as the Buddha taught, so too with human beings. Real relationships are what living is all about.

Thus, it seems that Laura Ingalls Wilder was right: the real things haven't changed. And I did become an author who sold a few books, but the price I would have had to pay to realize that "rich and famous" part was too much for me to pay. I know that I am walking away, leaving money on the table. Perhaps this is my Catholic upbringing talking, but not all money is good money.

Moving forward I will be eliminating my social media footprint. I can't say that I'll never come back...I hope to, once humanity has sorted itself out in the social media space. I will continue to write, but I will have to find other, more conventional ways to get my work out there. As well, I'm not averse to creating a social media presence that is strictly for advertising a product that is a one-way street with all comments turned off, but I did not come to this life to be a walking dollar sign for Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk nor the latest member in someone else's cult of personality. I came here to tell stories. I have enough courage (and faith) for when things go wrong to keep writing.

But something tells me that I haven't doomed myself to a life of penury as a public school teacher because of these choices.